“What the hell are we doing?”After an exceptionally cold and grey winter we woke up one morning, desperately looked at each other and asked this question. We then realized that we were not living the life that we imagined for ourselves. Six months later we sold everything we owned and moved five hundred and fifty-five miles away to Tybee Island.
My good friend Micheal Elliott, once explained to me “People move to an island because they are either running from something or running to something.” Pondering this statement, I think about our situation and why we arrived on an island to start a new life. There are plenty of wonderful things about Tybee that I would like to think we were running to. Gorgeous sunrises and sunsets, the community of caring people that rallies to help anyone in need, the crazy fun evenings at any of the 40-50 restaurants and bars here, the list goes on and on. But when we had signed the 3 month winter contract on a beach house, we did not know any of that existed. I believe when we came here, we were running from the years that we were caught up in trying to achieve the “American Dream”.
Living out your dream is a wonderful way to live. Although, I believe that few people know what their dream is. I have sat through enough business and self improvement seminars where the speaker probes this question. Clichè answers follow…new cars, houses, job security, success and happiness…blah, blah, blah.
Have you ever asked yourself this question?
The majority of people I know, their life sequence has been something not much different than this… Graduate high school, graduate from 4 year college, start career, get married or stay single, buy a house, have kids or not, move up in career, buy bigger house to hold all the stuff that money from career can buy, commute 2-5 hours daily to keep said career and stuff, buy even bigger house to hold more stuff that makes them ‘happy’ and gives them an escape from their daily job.
If you find yourself in a place where you feel you are living someone else’s dream or merely going through the motions of life with no sense of direction or accomplishment. I challenge you to ask yourself… “What the hell am I doing?” and “What do I really want to accomplish in my life?”
Over spring break, we had three couples visit us on Tybee. All three came from different parts of our past life; social circles, business acquaintances and a childhood friend. We had never spent more than a few hours in our lives hanging out with either of them. But they’ve read parts of our story and followed us on facebook and were curious to find out more. Each were on spring break and decided to check out Tybee and Savannah. All last minute decisions to make the visit, they contacted us individually with no more than a few hours or a days notice (which if you haven’t noticed yet, this is how we roll!) We were able to hang out with each family separately throughout the week, taking them to some of our favorite bars and restaurants on the island. They had all seen pictures or read stories about specific places and wanted to visit them with us. The Sandbar, Tybee Social Club, Hucapoos and Sundae Cafe were all on their lists.
After the initial catch up and chatter about kids growing up too fast and how everyone is doing…the big questions inevitably arrived… “How did you find this place?” and “What was the ‘thing’ that made this happen?” We proceeded to tell them the details of our story. About how we wanted to be in a place where we could spend meaningful time with our kids instead of spending our every waking moment figuring out how to pay for and take care of a huge house and all the stuff that went along with it. We shared how we downsized and sold nearly everything we owned. How we took an ipad with google map and virtually visited cities south of Virginia, till we stumbled upon a video of St Patrick’s day in Savannah noticing everyone was wearing shorts and T-shirts on March 17. We told the story of moving six people and a dog into a 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment with only mattresses, linens, a sofa, clothes and basic kitchen utensils.
Funny thing about having each of these conversations is that none of them looked at us like we were crazy. They nodded their heads with longing in their eyes, hanging onto our every word. When we tell our story we always hear someone say, “Wow, that must have been scary, moving to a new place and starting over from scratch” Our reply is always the same..”No, scary was spending the next twenty years doing the same thing we did for the last twenty years”
At one point during the week, when we were entertaining one of these couples at an open mic that Sean was hosting, our 17 year old daughter, Baylie, had just gotten off of work and came bouncing into the restaurant running up to Sean, throwing her arms around him and kissing him on the cheek. She dropped by to say hello and explain her plans for the night and reiterate that she would be home by her midnight curfew. My friend and I were across the room when she witnessed this. Being the mother of three teenage daughters, her mouth dropped open. She said, “That is genuine!” I agreed and said, “yes, that is why we did what we did”.
It is not my place to say what anyone’s dream should be. I place no judgement on how someone else lives their life. But I do feel like I have a responsibility as a friend to ask you…”What is your dream? What do you want out of your life?” “Are you doing what you were born to do?” Each day that goes by we cannot get back. I challenge you this week to ask yourself the big questions and then carve out time to plan how you will start living your dream and fulfill your life’s purpose.
For us, the answer to the missing piece in our life was moving to Tybee. However, we have met several people that have lived on Tybee their whole life. As they ask themselves this question, their answer may be the opposite of ours, exchanging the small island life for exploring the world even for just a season.
Will you let me know what you do? Send me a message, or better yet, come visit! We can talk over pizza at Hucapoos!
Thank you Wen…the reminder of my amazing path and passion that is shared by so many here in paradise . Loving your spirit always.
Very well said. I was fortunately able to travel (move) across country 5 times as I was traveling and figuring out my life/destiny. When. ever I speak with younger people I tell them to travel and take chances while you’re young to help find thier place in this wonderful but extremely short time that we have here. I’ve been living on Tybee 6yrs now and truly have never lived in a place where there’s so much caring and fellowship among the local people. I truly hope this never changes even long after I’m gone. God truly smiles upon Tybee..
Tybee is a very special place. One that only those that have experienced can really appreciate. I am happy that you have been able to experience and enjoy it!
Reservation for 2 (at least) at Huckapoos in August!!!!
We really enjoy Tybee!
Huckapoos, The Social, The Sandbar, Island Kayaks, and the McNallys 5 Happy Stars!
Deb
Got you on my schedule!! Can’t wait to spend another week with you!
I found your blog post endearing. Last year, I experienced some troubles. During these times of anguish, sadness, and distress- there was one person I could always turn to for advice, love, and care, my cousin Jeremy (Uncle Jay). I worked in the Film Indistry here in Atlanta and also had too much fun partying. I often stayed with Uncle Jay south of Atlanta when I would work 14 hour days on a movie set and going through a time where I had to make some important decisions regarding my health and habits. He was always there for me. His favorite place in the world- and the place he spoke of most, was and still is Tybee Island. He moved there last year, and I have not seen him in a long time. I miss him dearly and have spoken to him about coming to visit. He recently came to Atlanta but with my work schedule I was no able to see him. I grew up with Uncle Jay pushing me on a skateboard at 5-years old, babysitting my brother and I, and playing in the sand on Pawley’s Island. Hearing his laugh simply just makes me crack up. It makes him who he is. He loves Tybee island and I love him. Being 22, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I have goals and aspirations- but what’s in it for me in the future? I failed out of college, abused drugs, and couldn’t hold a job; however, the one thing I could hold onto was my integrity. I am a very passionate person and genuinely just crave connection in this world. I want to feel connected to something and someone. The human race is so afraid of each other- often times we cannot look each other in the eye. We are ashamed. We should not be ashamed anymore. People need love, respect and just someone to get by with. Life is so hard and we need each other to just get through the day. I live and work in Inman Park in Atlanta and want to move forward in life- I find myself questioning whether or not failing out of school and going to music festivals was truly worth it. Was it? I think it was. I found myself spiritually and am a believer in Mother Nature and God’s beautiful green Earth. We are so small- yet so incredibly big. Two days ago my roommate and best friend of one year (boyfriend ish) fell and broke his neck. I’ve been working doubles at work and have visited him this past evening and have been up all night contemplating life and trying to figure out something or someone, or anything! I spent some hours talking to homeless people in Atlanta last night by Grady Hospital. Just getting some fresh air every few hours, they would come speak to me, and I listened. I did not feel threatened or scared. Sometimes people just need someone to listen without judging them. They have choices- they can choose the life they want. But open ears means more to me than anything sometimes, especially through the hard times. My Uncle Jay has always been that person to me. I am a writer, always have been- just never knew where to start. I started today. Thank you for that. I crave connection, it’s becoming a possession, but it’s all really just a reflection. I want love. I do not like seeing people hurt. I want to heal the people and the animals and the Earth we have. That is all I know for now, but that’s all I really need to know for now. I’ll keep moving forward.
Thank you for sharing your heart Ashley. It sounds like you are at a very pivotal point in your life. But that you are now at a point to ask yourself some important questions with a clear head. You have certainly been blessed to have Uncle Jay in your life. He is a dear friend of mine. His laugh is contagious and it really does define him. I was able to spend a few hours at the sandbar with him last night. I hope we can meet on your next visit to Tybee! Please look me up when you are in town.
We asked ourselves the same question almost 4 years ago; then proceeded to make a leap of faith by retiring from one job, quitting a second job, buying a house before the other was sold, and just hoping and praying it would all fall into place. Sometimes, they just DO!
Looking forward to more Wild Irish Mondays when the sports schedule slows down.
Congratulations on your advancements through life. Sometimes things just do fall into place! Would love for you to join us on Monday’s for some mandolin madness!
You ought to know how much this post grabs my heart and I ask myself WHAT IN THE HELL ARE WE STILL DOING (in our hometown)!! Well, next year our only child graduates high school which leads us there to Tybee but I’m not sure I can leave my 71 year old Mom. She’s in pretty good health but she’s all I have now. She says she is content to stay here.
What I really need is to win the lottery and have a couple homes and a helicopter!!
Yes it can be quite a struggle to balance between our children and parents. Part of the reason we made the jump when we did. Looking forward to seeing your family again this summer!!
That’s the million dollar question !! Yesterday would of been my anniversary, I would of been married 29 years. Two years ago I split with my ex. We had the houses in four different states, 1 of them was on Wilmington Island. But back then we had a young son and life rotated around him. School, sports, friends, etc. Of course we did the beach thing, but never really partied on Tybee. I’ve been living in and out of my car for the past two years. I’ve visited almost all the states, I’ve put on over 35, 000 miles on my car in the last two years. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a lot of fun people on my travels. I’ve helped people, I’ve given away material things. I’ve loved and cried, I’ve prayed for guidance. God and my car have shown me things that I would have never seen before. In the last two years I’ve been happier than I was the last 10 years of my marriage. But I’m no closer now than I was 2 years ago determining what next !! But one thing I do know is if your excepting of others, they will be excepting to you.
Congratulations on following your heart. Have you ever read “Travels With Charlie” by John Steinbeck? I think you would enjoy it.
I love a good book, I’ll give it a look. Thanks
One other thing, I really miss Tybee !!
We really love living in a place that we are happy to come home to after our travels! One of the best feelings ever is driving over the Lazaretto creek bridge on to Tybee Island.
I would love to privately speak to you via email. This is something my husband and I want to do but are afraid about work as we are not able to retire yet (we are 46 and 55). Where do people on the island go for work? Suggestions on finding affordable places to live. We want a simple life. tkmis0530@aol.com
Excellent post! Many good question a to ask ourselves….. The thing I’m getting stuck on is Tybee isn’t cheap…. So I am having the same expensive anxiety that sounds simlar to what y’all had up north….. And think should I be packing my stuff up and downsizing and leave Tubee…. I dunno….See ya at Huc a Poos!!
From where we moved, Tybee prices are so much less…like more than 50% so the mindset was easier to take for us. Now we see there are less expensive places in Savannah etc… but the community life here is what we found we were missing most from our lives in VA. The first year we moved into a tiny apartment, we thought it would be temporary. But since then we decided that we would rather stay in a small apartment and have the view we have, than pay an additional $600-800 a month for a house on the interior of the island with no view. It keeps us purging our belongings too. Which keeps the clutter out of our lives. You will find your perfect place, wherever that may be, just as we found ours. You are on the right path! Keep searching your heart.
We have been truly gifted to have met other ‘Guided Travelers’ in this post card of boundless opportunity and togetherness we call home, Tybee Island !!!! Thank you to our exceptional friends/ neighbors, for just being YOU. Of all the places our journey has taken us, Tybee has been the most open and genuine when it comes to the people who live here! Thanks again !
i loved living on Tybee 1986-1991 ! Shipwatch Lounge…. that guy always let me sit in..he could play anything….working at MacElwee’s Seafood Restaurant….
living under the lighthouse…..Breakfast Club.. i miss Mike Hosti’s Italian sausage… great times for me ! Thank you !
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I have heard about the Shipwatch but my first visit to Tybee was in 2011. Sounds like you are due for a visit.